Wedding Planning Through The Lens Of Purpose With Emily Gylling/Ponderosa Planning.

Speaker 1: 0:31

I wanted to share like the thread because I've done so much thinking about this of like, what? What have I done that like now I'm a wedding planner? Like I think for most people that's just such a weird switch up thing and it has never phased me ever. I've just been like oh yeah, this makes so much sense. But I've done a lot of thinking on the why and I have such a strong positive memory of people coming up to my desk in Yosemite National Park and they're like we're here to have a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

Speaker 1: 1:02

We don't know anything about this. Like we're here to do it right. Please, like tell us what we need to do to like get the most out of this experience. I loved that about my job because I knew Yosemite like the back of my hand and I was like these people are cool. I'm going to like give them the lowdown, like the insider stuff. And it's the same with wedding planning. It's like people are on this journey. They've never done it before. They don't know what questions to ask. They're there to do it right. They have the time, energy and excitement to like have a once in a lifetime experience.

Speaker 2: 1:46

And they just need somebody to like give them the map. Just four people, that's all we were Trying to make a living out of Blacklander. We'd be together in a family circle singing loud.

Speaker 3: 2:01

I'm currently reading the Art of Gathering how we Meet and why it Matters, by Priya Parker. In the book, parker claims that gatherings are the conscious bringing together of people for a reason, that gatherings shape the way we think, the way we feel and the way we make sense of the world. On episode 52 of Ben Magazine's the Circling Podcast, join me as I sit down with owner and founder of Ponderosa Planning, emily Gillen. Over the past five years, emily and her team have grown Ponderosa Planning into one of our region's most in-demand team of wedding planning professionals whose mission is to demystify the wedding industry and provide couples a roadmap through the planning process allowing them to be guests at their own wedding.

Speaker 3: 2:51

Emily shares her story of how self-trust and skills learned through life experience as a park ranger and ski patroller, combined with the entrepreneurial example set by her parents, have led her to where she is today. Emily shares about the growing wedding industry in Central Oregon, her approach to planning and the importance she places on viewing wedding planning decisions through the lens of purpose as the first step to making for a great gathering and an even better celebration. Yo, emily, thanks for everything. I appreciate your time and I'm excited to work more with you in the future. The Circling Podcast can be found on Patreon. Visit our page and learn how a percentage of your financial support will support local nonprofits and the continued growth of local community podcasting. Become a member and learn about this unique opportunity at patreoncom forward slash thecirclingpodcast. Lastly, remember to stay tuned after the show credits to hear from Emily as she contributes to our Blank Canvas community art project that explores the magic found in art embedded with meaning.

Speaker 1: 4:07

I brought you a copy of my favorite book.

Speaker 3: 4:09

Dude, have you read it? I just listened to do you know what Blinkist this is. Thank you, first of all, you're welcome. That's amazing, like that means a lot to me that you brought me this.

Speaker 2: 4:18

I think you'll love it.

Speaker 3: 4:19

I already do Like well, I love Daniel Pink. I read, you know but also he's the guy that I was looking at this online today.

Speaker 1: 4:27

Oh yeah.

Speaker 3: 4:27

And I have this app that kind of gives you the Cliff Note versions of books of books and you can listen to them. So I was listening to this and I actually was going to. I want to talk to you about kind of the content in this book and how it's kind of shaped your business. Yeah, there's a ton in this that I can apply to this in terms of the why behind the. You know what I mean. Yeah, so thank you, that means a lot, priya. I think it's Priya.

Speaker 1: 4:53

Parker yeah, yeah, I have. It's been a minute since I read it, like two years, so I, before I came, I like wrote down what I remembered about it. Yeah.

Speaker 3: 5:02

Yeah, that's fun. I thought about how, leading up to this, you had shared that you're in a season of life where some of your biggest passions are the smallest things, like taking your son to the library and just, and that that resonated because because not a lot of people say that you know the ability to pause and appreciate, kind of just where you're at, appreciate the moment, and I would imagine that has played into the way you approach weddings, planning on on in some way.

Speaker 1: 5:31

I think the focusing on the little things and that question kind of stumped me when you asked, like what are you passionate about? Because I typically would say work. My work is my purpose and identity and has been for so long. Like an afternoon ski with my husband or just time with my son, that's. I think that's the stuff that's like the most memorable. And in weddings a lot of people are trying to focus on like chasing this feeling for them and their guests of like perfection and this unattainable like this is going to be the best day of our life feeling. And then I love it when couples are focusing more on the little stuff and just being in the moment and I think it makes it the experience they want to have.

Speaker 3: 6:24

But on accident, Does that make sense? Makes total sense. I would also imagine you've learned a lot about helping people manage expectations.

Speaker 1: 6:32

Oh yes.

Speaker 3: 6:33

Because when you know, I mean I've learned many, many, many times over and over and over that when my expectations are met is when I get grumpy or irritable or resentful, or you know, and I think about I mean I got married in 2005. So it's been a minute, and I remember when my wife and I were planning our wedding and I had no idea what to expect which was probably better because I didn't really probably had the best time ever.

Speaker 1: 7:00

It was super fun.

Speaker 3: 7:01

But I also, you know, I started thinking what else in life is kind of like your wedding day, where you kind of create a roadmap that you hope you can follow, but sometimes everything goes out the window. And I would say, having kids and like a birth plan, like both you have to be incredibly flexible.

Speaker 1: 7:21

Yes, I have such unreasonable expectations of myself and others that's something that's my demon that I have been battling for most of my adult life and it is the greatest irony that I coach couples on expectation setting. But it helps. It has helped my personal life too and my approach to this work and expectations I have and of experiences I'm having. And yeah, the expectation management starts at the very beginning with like budget creation and like outlining the vision for the day, yeah, and it goes all the way until the day itself.

Speaker 3: 8:02

Yeah, yeah, and probably into the honeymoon and the first year, and I mean so you started doing this in 2019.

Speaker 1: 8:11

I did yeah.

Speaker 3: 8:12

Yep, but before you became a wedding planner, I mean. So you have a 425 area code. Is that Washington? Yeah, are you from Washington?

Speaker 1: 8:20

Suburbs of Seattle. So I grew up in Kirkland, which is the home of Costco.

Speaker 3: 8:24

Yes, it is Kirkland signature.

Speaker 1: 8:26

Yeah, yeah. Grew up in same house. My whole life, born and raised, and then lived in Seattle, went to University of Washington and lived there off and on throughout my 20s like in the off season, quick deviation, just because it's relevant.

Speaker 3: 8:43

I just got contacted from the director of the UW Alumni Association and they hired Story Booth in May.

Speaker 1: 8:52

No way.

Speaker 3: 8:53

So I'm going to go up for a corporate, corporate like um, not corporate, but like a more, uh, professional event, reunion opportunity to capture stories of their alumni in a unique way versus just video or photos, or yeah. So it'll be a ton of fun. That's awesome. It'll be a really good kind of dry run with the new equipment that we're getting for the wedding season.

Speaker 2: 9:16

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 9:16

Because I've already, you know, thanks to you and a couple other wedding planners, I've had some interest in some local events too Good, which is going to be super fun.

Speaker 1: 9:24

Yeah, I think my couple, kristen and Andy, reached out to you. They did Hashtag crandy.

Speaker 3: 9:28

Yeah, hashtag crandy, I'm doing so. You know, make it better. Yeah, you got to start somewhere. Yeah, I also appreciated you sharing with me how much of a positive influence your parents have had on your life. You know you shared with me that they own their own business and kind of modeled what a privilege it is to be self-employed while you raise a family. You mentioned a couple specifics that I was hoping you could talk more about, and the first was just this idea of getting permission in life to kind of not have it all planned out. You know, I mean talk a little bit more about how giving you that space kind of allowed you to start the first part of your adult life, or maybe even as a kid growing up. Does that make sense? Yeah, definitely.

Speaker 1: 10:28

I think that I came from a very like entrepreneurial background. So my mom's parents also, like, owned restaurants their whole lives and, like, bounced from one thing to the next and just did every entrepreneurial venture that that their heart desired. And my parents both worked for themselves and I think like that potentially unusual way of living prompted them to ask me those questions of like what are your values? What are you interested in? It wasn't ever like how are you going to make a living?

Speaker 1: 11:02

yeah which is a super important difference, like the expectation was that I would pay my own bills, but it was never like the driving force or the pressure. It was like mostly focused on what excites you, like, what lights your fire, and that can change too. So, yeah, I think they gave me a lot of room, a lot of example in how they did things, and also a lot of room, as their kid, to figure it out on my own and have a meandering path with a whole bunch of different interests.

Speaker 3: 11:35

Yeah, do you have siblings?

Speaker 1: 11:37

Yeah, I have one younger brother.

Speaker 3: 11:38

Younger brother, and is he still in Washington?

Speaker 1: 11:41

He lives in Nashville with his wife actually.

Speaker 3: 11:43

No way.

Speaker 1: 11:43

Yeah, she's going to PA school.

Speaker 3: 11:45

That's what I do.

Speaker 1: 11:46

I know, yeah, yeah, she's on the journey. I think she's starting, like her rotations right now.

Speaker 3: 11:57

So she's in the final year.

Speaker 1: 11:58

Did we talk about this at that mixer? No, yeah. Where's she going? Somewhere in Tennessee, I don't know the name of the school.

Speaker 3: 12:01

It's in Nashville. Yeah, very cool. That's a fun slash, super hard season of life, but yeah.

Speaker 1: 12:06

Yeah, they're young and married and just figuring it out and trying to kind of do the same thing of like that everyone does when they're in their 20s of like what, what excites you, and like what.

Speaker 1: 12:18

I don't want to sound sort of like, too naive in the sense of like, just follow your passions and your dreams and the money will follow. I think there has to be like a little bit of a trajectory on what am I good at, like what can I bring to the world? That's exciting, that sparks my joy, but also is like bringing my skills in a way that other people are going to appreciate.

Speaker 3: 12:41

Yeah, I agree wholeheartedly, and I also think sometimes those like it's not mutually exclusive to be working a job that maybe isn't your first choice while you're trying to become better, build something else that maybe is you know. To become better build something else that maybe is you know. And so, prior to you getting into the wedding industry, you had shared with me that your husband and yourself are pretty avid skiers. You both were on ski patrol here.

Speaker 1: 13:07

Nick was not. No he is just like loves to ski and is a really great skier, but he I misunderstood. No, no worries. He and I both moved to Bend because I got a great skier. But he misunderstood. No, no worries. Yeah, he and I both moved to Ben because I got a job ski patrolling at Mount bachelor and I, we were newly dating and we were a month in and I said he was living in Seattle and I said, well, I'm moving to Ben, so do you want to come?

Speaker 1: 13:30

And we moved here together and he worked at that time as an ambulance operator as an EMT for Bend Fire.

Speaker 2: 13:37

Okay.

Speaker 1: 13:38

And has since gotten his paramedic and gotten hired on. So he's a paramedic firefighter for the city of Bend.

Speaker 3: 13:43

That's a great, great job.

Speaker 1: 13:45

He's good for him. He's really good at it. Yeah, and skis when he can.

Speaker 3: 13:49

Yeah, that's cool.

Speaker 1: 13:51

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 13:51

And you were a park ranger too.

Speaker 1: 14:00

Yeah yeah. In college I did environmental education and kind of found this niche with what the Park Service calls interpretation, which is interpretation of resources. So if you are talking to a park ranger at a visitor center, they're probably like an interpretive ranger. So I did an internship in Alaska in college which sparked my interest in the park service and then, right out of college, got hired at North Cascades National Park which is just like my heart park. I love it there.

Speaker 3: 14:58

Did you spend time in the Cascades growing up?

Speaker 1: 15:01

Yeah, yeah, I would say my family was not very outdoorsy. I think there was like an annual camping trip involved, but it was in college that I started to like really spend time on the trails and then it was just a positive feedback loop of like working in them and just loving them.

Speaker 3: 15:20

So how old were you when you started skiing?

Speaker 1: 15:24

I think I learned when I was six.

Speaker 3: 15:26

Okay, so you're the majority of your. Yeah, but I'm like a terrible skier, adam I doubt that you can't be that bad if Betsy hired you Well.

Speaker 1: 15:36

I was so excited about emergency medicine and had just gotten my EMT Okay. So I was like psyched on trainings and the medical stuff and like a decent enough skier I had patrolled one season in Whitefish.

Speaker 3: 15:51

Montana.

Speaker 1: 15:52

Yeah, no way. And then Betsy hired me and took a chance on me. Betsy is such a boss like besides that she was my actual boss like she's just a cool individual. I loved your episode when you interviewed her and Drew and DT. Yeah that that's cool.

Speaker 3: 16:09

I'm glad that you like that. That was super fun. I, you know, I've I've lived here a long time and had, you know, relationships with different people in leadership at bachelor over the years and but I had never met betsy, I'd never met dave, I'd never met drew or kind of them, you know, and it was so much fun getting to hang out with them and just see kind of behind the operations up there. Man, yeah, and I was trying to approach it from more of a, like you know, these are just our community members that make this mountain run, you know, yeah. So yeah, it was fun hearing the story up there.

Speaker 1: 16:42

A really cool group of people and I was so excited to join them and like move to Bend, excited to join them and like move to bend and they under. You know I went through like all that first year training stuff but I got hurt my first year up there which took me out halfway through the season and that is like what precipitated this transition in my life was I was like psyched on emergency medicine and like a fine skier.

Speaker 1: 17:05

But you have to be a really a strong skier to be in ski boots 40, 50 hours a week and that just was like not me. So I yeah ended up unfortunately hurting my knee okay didn't and just like went on this other path of what can I do? I go back, do I do the rehab? Do I go back and have to kind of climb that mountain, or do I pivot and try something different?

Speaker 3: 17:31

And you pivoted.

Speaker 1: 17:33

Hard. Yeah, it was a hard pivot.

Speaker 3: 17:36

But I mean, from what you've shared with me and what I've read, it sounds as though or maybe I'll just ask you share that pivot story. You know, I mean yeah it story. You know, I mean what's the story behind Emily, the ski patrol slash park ranger, pivoting to developing and starting your own wedding planning service business and brand that's growing and has a phenomenal reputation, by the way, like everybody that I reached out to, not that it was like a ton, but you know several people. You know I mean senior praises and your staff, oh yeah, so it's great.

Speaker 1: 18:09

That means the world, if you know several people, you know I mean sing your praises and your staff. Oh yeah, so it's great. That means the world. I mean, if the people that on my team are like in the community, people think highly of them too, that's a huge compliment to me.

Speaker 1: 18:23

Yeah, the pivot was I hurt my knee in the winter of 2018. I worked one more season in the park service that summer. Figured out I didn't want to be apart from who's now my husband, nick Knew. I wanted to kind of be in Bend and settle in and be here more permanently. But I also had to make a living and I couldn't necessarily be a living and I, you know, couldn't necessarily be a park ranger here year round. So I spent about a year kind of bopping around and like worked at the climbing gym and worked for outdoor brands and tried retail sale kind of side of things, and ended up just planning my best friend's wedding when she got engaged.

Speaker 1: 19:12

And I've always been that person who's like planning the group trip. You know, I've got the Google Doc with the menu planning out. I'm planning all the road trips like I got the spreadsheet. I'm hosting dinners, you know, at my house, like that's's. That's just my personality too, like highly organized and working with people. So planned my best friend's wedding and it just like totally clicked. I was like I love this.

Speaker 3: 19:38

Was that planning it here in Bend or back in Seattle? In Bend, okay yeah.

Speaker 1: 19:43

Yeah, they got engaged in 2019 and we originally planned it up at Skyliner Lodge for 2020. And they had to end up going through like a reschedule and a move and the whole thing. But in 2019, it like sparked this thing in me of I'm, I want to wake up every day and do this. Like it just lit a fire in me of like my skill set that kind of had been untapped before and started the business because I didn't know any better to. Not, that just goes back to my parents of like you don't have to have it all figured out.

Speaker 3: 20:19

Yeah, you, you, you at all, and I'm glad you brought that up because you said your folks had given you the gift of self-confidence. You know, self-confidence, self-trust, meaning you were willing to trust yourself enough to try something you didn't necessarily feel prepared for, because you were able to draw on life experience. You're, you know, comfortable with your own personality and your failures and successes. That gave you enough confidence or trust to kind of start the process or delusion, you know well, well, I'm a big believer, and I'm.

Speaker 3: 20:50

You know that too many people try to wait and have all their ducks in a row before they start, totally. And for some things. I think that's wise. Most things, especially in the entrepreneurship world. I think you just start, yeah, and you just learn as you go.

Speaker 1: 21:04

If there's like a low barrier of entry to like pretty relatively low risk other than my own, like pride.

Speaker 1: 21:12

But that self-trust thing I learned that recently from Dr Becky Kennedy, who's like a parenting expert like more educating myself more on what that is and she talks about like sturdiness and self-trust as a parent and I loved that definition of confidence is self-trust and just for me, when I started Ponderosa Planning I knew I had so much clarity and the joy that I had from doing that work and I had the confidence and the self-trust from what my parents modeled to me of like how to be an entrepreneur and just using, like, both sides of your brain and the creativity, but also the logic and the organization pieces.

Speaker 1: 22:00

And, yeah, just, it also was very serendipitous that after I started my business, covid hit actually and that was a blessing in some ways because I didn't have a full docket of weddings that needed to be postponed and replanned. I just kind of like quietly glided into the pandemic, which was tough for me and my husband and for our family and it was like a lot of fear, for sure, about what was going to happen. But I got introduced to the owner of the bridal shop in Bend Bespoke Bride and her name's Jen and we went there wedding dress shopping for my best friend whose wedding I was planning and she was just like my biggest cheerleader and just without skipping a beat, told this bridal shop owner. Oh well, emily's a wedding planner as of like. I started my LLC a month ago, type of deal and she took a total chance on me and like mentored me and took me under her wing and taught me about the wedding industry and like told her brides about me and that was amazing.

Speaker 3: 23:03

So that was 2020?. Yeah, so 2024, we're going in. You know, I mean it's, it's and you've done.

Speaker 1: 23:12

I think I read 70 weddings roughly yeah, we which is a lot, and just a few summers really we might even be up now with the bookings we have and the ones that we finished so far. Even this year. It's like in the high 80s now it's a lot of weddings in a short period of time. We've got 25 in the year 2024 that we're planning.

Speaker 3: 23:35

That's incredible. Good job, thanks. That's rad, and I would imagine that amount of frequency in a short period of time you know like consolidates and gives you lots of reps on like we screwed up this last time. Learn that, cause that's how you get better and better and better right as you do it more and more and more Totally. So what was your first wedding Like?

Speaker 1: 23:56

uh, let's see, it was chaotic. I didn't eat or drink at all, I just I have a memory of, like, my husband trying to feed me a sandwich, like in the woods as I'm prepping all the setup for these folks wedding at Elk Lake, and the couple trusted me because of the recommendation through my mentor and I just hustled and, like, made it happen and I think it it went awesome.

Speaker 3: 24:51

Yeah, I'm sure it did.

Speaker 1: 24:53

I learned so much that first summer and like every single wedding, like you said, every season you learn. Every wedding has a lesson.

Speaker 3: 25:02

Yeah. So now I mean, your mission is and I just pulled this right from your website but every brand has a mission statement and I really liked yours, which was you put a lot of emphasis on kind of demystifying the wedding industry and the process, but also a really large emphasis on a wedding couple feeling like they're guests at their own wedding. Yeah, that resonated with me, because I don't remember much of my wedding, but I do remember not getting to connect with very many people because you're constantly kind of just trying to go through and see everybody and sit and you don't. You don't feel like you're at a guest. You know, and I'm sure you hear that a lot. So when, at what point in the development of your process, did that kind of start showing itself to you that that was important?

Speaker 1: 25:55

I think that very, very quickly, after just a handful of weddings, I understood that it's the biggest party you've ever thrown and you're hosting, or your family's hosting, in the same way that you host just at your house. It's. There's so much more about a wedding that's wrapped up in it Like expectations, emotions. It's a transition a life transition.

Speaker 1: 26:26

It's hugely important and it's a party, it's a dinner and like that hosting piece is something that takes away a lot of joy on it's all it's. It's very counterintuitive because you want it to be a great guest experience and you're trying to manage a whole bunch of moving pieces and you're also trying to celebrate this like once in a lifetime moment. So I think that's the most important thing and the thing people should invest the most money in is like how are you going to be a guest at your own wedding so that you can remember it and enjoy it and and just have it be the thing that you set out to create?

Speaker 3: 26:59

well, have you developed some unique approaches to that for people?

Speaker 1: 27:02

yeah, yeah yeah, I don't know if it's as much of like how people should operate on the day of, but it's more about preparedness, yeah so a lot of wedding planning companies offer a service called day of coordination and that essentially is where the couple and their families are planning the wedding and then they hand it to the coordinator to execute. I found super quickly that that was like too little, too late.

Speaker 1: 27:28

And so we don't offer day of coordination in the traditional sense. We offer wedding management, which is people book it with us like year and a half out from the day they know their wedding date. If you have wedding management on your team, that basically means like we give you a roadmap with a super robust checklist and you're never wondering what do I do next? Like to have access to a wedding professional one month before your wedding, I feel like, is such a disservice to. There's so many steps and decisions in the year leading up that I love being available to answer those questions. These are the phases that you're in these are the tasks you're going to work on.

Speaker 1: 28:16

Let's meet quarterly, like let's dialogue about what you're going through, and then we coordinate, then we manage it. But that's something that I think we do a little bit differently and other companies, potentially, are offering, you know, similar opportunities to meet with them like in advance. Potentially you're offering you know similar opportunities to meet with them like in advance, but that's something I learned that allows people to be guests at their own wedding is like it's 90% preparedness and then handing it off and not hosting you know having that day of contact, even if it's not a professional, even if it's just a coworker or a friend or someone who knows what's going on, besides the people who plan the wedding.

Speaker 3: 28:58

Totally it's. You know, when I, when I pitched Story Booth, I like dove pretty heavily into like the wedding kind of demographics and data in Deschutes County and it's amazing I mean there's a, I think in like 2022, there was like four over 1400 weddings with an average price of like close to $40,000. And that's just Deschutes County. And then you know, at like COA Central Oregon Wedding Association events and stuff you taught, which has been super fun to learn and just network and meet people. But it seems like there's trends of more and more kind of high-end destination weddings coming into our area, which makes total sense. You mentioned Whitefish living out there. I mean these kind of mountain town communities seem to be growing in terms of their wedding industry and that industries can support a lot of different. You know a lot of people. There's a lot of people in our community that make a living around events and weddings.

Speaker 3: 30:04

And I know you know, it's kind of like bachelor, like you just don't think about it, Right. But as soon as you kind of start learning, it's like wow, there's, there's a big community of really neat people that make this all happen.

Speaker 1: 30:17

Yeah, it's a lot of people who work to not only put on the event like the day itself, but like all the lodging and all the activities. People are coming here for a long weekend or a full week and so are their guests. I mean, they're coming into our town and floating the river and they want me to plan, like their welcome event at a brewery lot and they want to have their breakfast burritos and then, like, go for a bike ride and it's cool to see people who don't live here come celebrate their wedding here.

Speaker 3: 30:46

Yeah it, it. It always reminds me, too, of just all the things that we just take for granted. You know like I know getting to do all that stuff just on the daily. You know we're pretty lucky where we live, I know you know that.

Speaker 1: 31:00

But oh, I feel so lucky to live here.

Speaker 3: 31:03

So you, you, I was able to connect with Daphne.

Speaker 1: 31:07

Oh, you did yeah.

Speaker 3: 31:08

She's great. She's for people listening. Daphne's one of Emily's previous clients, um, and she had this message to share about her wedding experience.

Speaker 4: 31:18

So I had. I knew somebody who also got married at the same venue as me and it's so far out from where I live and that I didn't really know much about who to reach out to for vendors. But I knew somebody who had also gotten married and she was like the best decision I made was hiring Emily. I was like this is good information, this is quality information. And then, um, so we scheduled a call with her and then pretty much as soon as we started talking to her, we were like, oh, this is perfect, we absolutely need to hire this person because we don't know what we're doing. You know we'll shop like talk to more people if it seemed important.

Speaker 4: 32:00

But then, as soon as we started talking to Emily, we were like, oh, this is so easy. Like we were like there's no way that I would even bother trying to talk to somebody else. It was like, oh, this is perfect For me. I was just sort of overwhelmed by the whole being engaged in general, which I was really excited about it, but I didn't know anything about planning a wedding. I'm not somebody who would like always plan a wedding and I think that, like when you get engaged, the immediate like deluge of like other people's feelings and expectations about it is really overwhelming. And I think what was so evident as soon as I talked to Emily is that, like she was on board, like with enthusiasm and like practicality, to help me plan it however I wanted it. You know, like I felt like she was just totally in our corner to make it what we wanted, was just totally in our corner to make it what we wanted, and that she has such a knowledgeable skill set that she was like able to help it make it happen and she's just so incredibly communicative. I think the fact that she was so communicative and like down to earth, I was like this is who I, this is who I want to plan my wedding.

Speaker 4: 33:13

Emily asks a lot of questions and she really tries to get an idea of what you want and what your resources are in order to make that happen, so that she can apply both of those, like apply all of that information. But she also is very methodical and so highly organized. I I like my ADHD brain is like Ooh, scattered, idea, idea. But Emily was like so calm and she has such an organized way of doing it. She has like step-by-step and we'll break it up for you into bite-sized kind of pieces so that it feels really manageable, so that you can feel like you're participating in it but that it's not all on your hands or it's like not all on your plate. She also has an amazing team of people working for her. Um, I think like it would be worth even talking about how she builds her team, because it's like the it's like the the best friend crew that you want at your wedding, like it's and like everybody that works there is really fabulous too, and I think that she's been really intentional about that oh, that's so cool.

Speaker 3: 34:24

I like playing um. Can you hear me better now?

Speaker 2: 34:28

yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3: 34:29

I like playing these little audio clips. It's fun for people because people oftentimes don't get to hear this stuff, and it's just a cool way to sprinkle it into an episode and give a listener a little bit different perspective than just you and I talking. Yeah, you know what I mean.

Speaker 1: 34:46

That's so cool. It makes me emotional to hear that it's an impactful thing. I know it's impactful to people because it's an important day in their life, but to hear from Daphne like the specifics of their experience is really cool.

Speaker 3: 35:03

Yeah, and she's, you know, it's not like she's the exception, you know, like that seems to be the norm with a couple of other and I didn't get audio on everybody, but I've met other people who have worked with you and, yeah, like I said earlier, you have a good, really good reputation, um, as does your team. Tell me about your team. You have four, three or four people that you work with now.

Speaker 1: 35:26

Yeah, I have, um a team of myself and two other planners. So Cherise has been with me for three more than three years and she does more weddings at this point than I do Like. Cherise is awesome and also helped with Daphne and Drew's wedding, and then we're training a third planner to take on more now, and then we've got a crew of like three other awesome coordinators who mostly are doing that day of stuff. So six of us total and there's kind of a big difference in like the planning versus the coordinating, but some gals like work full time in other jobs and then help during the summer day of.

Speaker 3: 36:09

It's cool that your team's growing.

Speaker 3: 36:11

I'm so excited about that, yeah because that, at least in my experience with entrepreneurship, it's more often than not like you'll have the ups and downs of whatever your brand or business is, but the people that you experience that rollercoaster ride with seem to make up and play a really big part of the overall happiness and joy that comes out of it, but all but clearly the success too, you know I'm so appreciative of a team because I think it also creates redundancies for couples and that I kind of tell couples like your day should not hinge on one human and let's like create systems where we have plans and we have a planning team, that it should be a team.

Speaker 1: 36:58

I don't think it should be one person Like that's kind of why we work so cohesively and together and why I hope that it's a seamless experience from me to Cherise to a coordinator, because it's we're all the same team and and that way if somebody gets sick or you know, it's too important of a day to not have redundancies yeah, I would agree with you.

Speaker 3: 37:19

Every everybody that I sit down to talk with. One of my favorite questions, because I like to read, is have you what's the last book that you read? And? And you brought me in a copy of the book which I had talked with you about prior to recording. I had kind of speed read slash listened to this morning actually, because it was just the title alone is great. So author's name is Priya. I think it's Priya Parker.

Speaker 1: 37:44

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 37:45

The Art of Gathering, how we Meet and why it Matters and you know she has good questions like what makes for a good gathering, right Like? And one thing just that stuck out to me earlier today, which is obvious but oftentimes gets overlooked, are what are the ingredients that go into a successful and meaningful and exciting gathering right? So many times it seems like and I'm sure you can relate that there's more focus on kind of the practicalities of the gathering, like the decorative or the logistics or the location, versus like answering kind of the main question of why are we gathering?

Speaker 3: 38:23

and the purpose. Yeah, how can we, how can we encourage all these people getting together to connect in a unique way, that is, in celebration of the why behind the meaning or behind the gathering? Yeah, so I'm excited to read this.

Speaker 1: 38:45

It is a total game changer. That gave me that book and it changed the trajectory of my business, because I focus with couples at the beginning, really heavy and throughout the whole process. What is your purpose? And that's Priya's whole thing is like a category is not a purpose. So the purpose is not wedding, Wedding is the category. The purpose is kind of like the bouncer of the event as you make decisions like what gets through and what doesn't. And it just was game changing for me because I think that once you have a really solid purpose that feels unique to you, you don't get sucked into some of that stuff Daphne was talking about, of like expectations of others and of like society and stuff that you've seen online or or what your friends and family might have input for, but like what's the purpose for you as a couple and from there every single decision you make passes through that purpose and if it sticks, awesome and otherwise stuff just bounces off and it's it's just like less stressful once you have a guiding purpose.

Speaker 3: 39:55

Yeah, yeah. I mean I'm excited to read this, from just kind of reading the cliff note version of it. You know it covers everything from like distractions at your event, like how you can mitigate distraction, you know, which seems very relevant socially and culturally because we're distracted with a lot you know phones, rules, I mean there's, it's stuff that you wouldn't necessarily even like.

Speaker 3: 40:20

It even brings up kind of uncomfortable subject matter, Like is it worth considering to not invite a certain person in an effort to, you know, to like preserve the experience for the other people? Those are hard questions. I went through that at my wedding and it was super uncomfortable, you know every couple I work with goes through that.

Speaker 1: 40:42

It is such a painful thing to reckon with too. Like weddings are so weird, there's just so many expectations and money and history and feelings and emotions and let alone two families coming together, two people and thinking about how do you create this day.

Speaker 1: 41:01

It's like a once in a lifetime experience. Yeah, yeah, priya, in the Art of Gathering she says that thoughtful, considered exclusion is vital to every gathering. And that sounds terrible, because obviously I am like a more than merrier person, but when it comes to your wedding, from both like an emotional side of what is the purpose and how are we curating that experience, but also a practical side of cost, like let's think carefully about who it is that you're going to host that day.

Speaker 3: 41:34

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 41:35

Are you having flashbacks to your own wedding?

Speaker 3: 41:36

Totally man. Yeah, yeah, she also. Another thing that I thought was fun and I'm going to put a lot of thought into is kind of this concept of like reaching out prior to and asking people to start thinking about stories or send in photos or all these other things. That kind of improve the quality and meaning of the time that you spend together so people aren't just showing up like they've put a little thought into it and it just, you know, it's a way of increasing the quality of the time with the people that you're gathering with, I guess.

Speaker 1: 42:12

But I think it's about guest experience.

Speaker 3: 42:14

Yeah, a lot of our couples are focused on that.

Speaker 1: 42:18

You know they're more often than not that our couples don't live in the state of Oregon.

Speaker 3: 42:23

Yeah, interesting.

Speaker 1: 42:24

They are interested in planning multi-day events.

Speaker 3: 42:27

So you get a lot of destination weddings.

Speaker 1: 42:30

It's most.

Speaker 3: 42:31

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 42:31

Most are not living in Bend for sure We've got several Portland couples who have a connection here. But Seattle, San Francisco, New York, all over the country, Midwest there's like a common thread in most cases where the couple has a connection here, Like maybe one of their families has a place like in black butte or sun river, like there's some emotional nostalgia piece which is also really fun to play on for this weekend. It's like you're bringing people here I've never been here and they get to share what they love about it and what makes it special. But guest experience like that's why I love story booth is because they want to like capture this moment in time and they also want to create something like that's part of the arc of their story.

Speaker 1: 43:21

And it's just like that audio of it's, similar to the phone guest books or a photo booth or like something of that nature, but it's about guest experience and it's also about what's meaningful to the couple.

Speaker 3: 43:36

Right. So you now I mean you're four years in you offer four 20, no.

Speaker 1: 43:41

Technically five. Wait, no, I mean 2020 is a weird year, let's call it four.

Speaker 3: 43:47

Four, four and a half. You offer a lot of different service lines now. I mean you have full service kind of start to finish, comprehensive packages to wedding management services that you mentioned earlier, partial planning packages, and then one thing that you had briefly talked to me about and I want you to share more are some of these smaller budget kind of DIY options for people to have structure and outline and plan but can do it, maybe, you know, on their own more or remotely. So the power hour consulting calls, and then you have your wedding roadmap, which is like an online program. Yeah, those are cool. Talk more about that stuff. Yeah, definitely.

Speaker 1: 44:32

I created those offerings to try to address the spectrum of needs that I was seeing. I think that a lot of the weddings that we're planning in Ponderosa Planning have budgets that exceed $75,000. And so that's one way to do it and that is an experience, and that is not where everyone is at, and I think that the people who aren't there in their budget still need help and guidance. You know it's planning a wedding. It's like you don't know what you don't know. You've never done this before. There's a lot wrapped up in it. Like I've said, you know emotions and expectations. So the power hour is is specifically for people looking to get married in central Oregon, because we're the experts in the offerings that are here and that's basically like a fast track consulting session with us where we send you a questionnaire beforehand, kind of gather your purpose, you know that, what it is that you're hoping beforehand.

Speaker 1: 45:31

Kind of gather your purpose, you know that, what it is that you're hoping to achieve, what's your budget, what's your guest count, like, what's kind of going on? Or even if you're midway through planning, like what are your pain points, and then we have a one hour call where I kind of like walk you through where I think you're at in the process and the recommendations we have and answer questions and then send you away with some deliverables, like a timeline or a custom budget if you're trying to compare venues or so there's. There's some things to get people jump started, like into this Central Oregon wedding world. And then the wedding roadmap is relatively new. It's something that I was just really excited about creating digital content for people to consume, like at their own pace and from anywhere in, you know, in the country.

Speaker 1: 46:21

Really, it's kind of geared towards like people who want to have maybe a quote, unquote like standard wedding of, let's say, between 100 and 150 people. You want to have it a ceremony followed by a dinner. Like you want to have some of the more traditional elements of like flowers and photography and it's for people planning that themselves and maybe their budget is is such that they can't have a wedding planner on their team. So there's a few different like offerings there. There's like free blog education. There's digital downloads Like you could buy a timeline template at like a low price point, or there's a full digital course which is basically how to design your wedding from once you got your vendor list figured out, like what happens next? How do you follow up with all those vendors? Fill in the details, design what it looks like, tie everything together and execute it.

Speaker 3: 47:20

That's cool. Are those gaining traction?

Speaker 1: 47:23

Yeah, we do the power hour consulting quite a bit because people find us through like the Central Oregon wedding Instagram world and you know, need some help kickstarting but can't commit to like the full planning deal. And then the wedding roadmap is something I'm definitely trying to get the word out more about because it's such a digestible like course. You know the content. I feel like at your own pace with the slides and like the audio. It's my voice, like educating you on all the steps and digital downloads. Um, so I feel like it's a lot of bang for your buck in terms of it's like having a wedding planner in your pocket.

Speaker 3: 48:06

Yeah, was that pretty easy for you to create easy for you to create, I don't know.

Speaker 1: 48:16

I I got like really into it and I I had like a newborn, so I recorded this. I made this course over the course of like three months, while my son was a newborn, and I was like I just believed in it.

Speaker 1: 48:26

I, like, was driven by passion for this works. This makes sense, Like people. If only they knew that they could spend $450 and it's an investment in the entire rest of all the money they're spending for their entire day. It's just like a fraction of the cost of planning services, but at their own pace too, which is cool.

Speaker 3: 48:50

Which is massive. Yeah, yeah, I would imagine that there's cool, which is massive. Yeah, yeah, I would imagine that there's big return on that investment.

Speaker 1: 48:56

Yeah, I mean I'm super biased because this is my world, but you should be you should be number one.

Speaker 3: 49:02

Number two that's badass that you did that. While you were probably, you and your husband were probably getting up at 2 and 4 am and diapers and man when you're a new parent, it is your world turns upside down.

Speaker 1: 49:16

Yeah, yeah, I also I think to get personal for a second, like I think it also was related to me driving to think creatively about like I, emily, the human can't be at 20 weddings a year and I have a family and it's I wanted to like create offerings that met people's needs and also like diversified what it is I could bring to the table, because all this knowledge living in my head is like doing nobody any good if I'm not at their wedding. But, yeah, it's, I think it's a good thing. I try to be as objective as possible about it as someone who's gotten married and seen my peers get married and seen a lot of weddings. It is an investment in your overall experience and all the rest of the money you're going to spend.

Speaker 3: 50:04

No doubt In your experience. What do some other wedding vendors, or is that the right word?

Speaker 1: 50:33

no-transcript. The first thing I thought of was the words bride and groom are no more, and I cringe so hard when I see wedding vendors use that terminology. It's just couple. It's just two people getting married. It's couple and it's so easy to like, replace flat out, like, control all. Search in your documents for the word bride and delete it. So that's one thing which a lot of vendors in Central Oregon are super good about and it's just like an inclusivity piece for me that's important. I think other stuff that is funny at times to see is like the word perfect. Yeah, that's like you're setting yourself up for failure. That is funny at times to see is like the word perfect.

Speaker 3: 51:14

Yeah, that's like you're setting yourself up for failure From day one yeah, Nobody's perfect.

Speaker 1: 51:21

I'm not. Yeah, no one is. And to think that your wedding day will be perfect also just is as. I'm firm but fun that's what people say about my approach is firm but fun, and this is the firm side coming out, which is like it will not be perfect, but I'm so glad that it's not, because it's unattainable. It's unreasonable to think that it would be and to meter that from the beginning in our language, like as vendors too, is I'm sure the word perfect is on my website, but it's kind of like an expectation setting piece more than anything.

Speaker 3: 52:01

It's funny Cause you always you know the wedding day is a wedding day and and it's magical and should be, and it's memorable. And then you and then, like you know, going from a perfect wedding to a perfect marriage, right, my wife sent me this, I forget, I think maybe a couple months ago. It was like a perfect marriage is simply two imperfect people who fail to give up on each other. I like that.

Speaker 1: 52:29

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 52:30

I like it too. You can use it.

Speaker 1: 52:32

Thank you. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, I like it too. Yeah, you can use it. Thank you, yeah. The word yeah the perfect part of weddings is it can be magical and unique and memorable and full of love and happy tears and like delicious food. It just that word, sets everyone up for failure.

Speaker 3: 52:50

Yeah, I would agree with you, I would agree with you. Sets everyone up for failure. Yeah, I would agree with you. I would agree with you. I mean, as a as a wedding planner, do you have like general guidelines on what percentage of a wedding budget and I'm sure you do and you're but just to get people thinking on on what to spend towards things like the actual venue versus the flowers, versus the catering, like, are there rules of thumb or is that kind of where you pass everything through the bouncer of you know why? You know what did you say earlier? The purpose?

Speaker 4: 53:19

of your the purpose?

Speaker 3: 53:20

Yeah, Is that I mean even? I'm sure I'm not asking this very well. You pass all those different thoughts through the purpose of the wedding, right? Yes, yeah.

Speaker 1: 53:30

Yeah, I think that there are rules of thumb and like budget templates and percentages and stuff that we use and that's that's based on on a view.

Speaker 1: 53:41

Central Oregon where there's a ceremony and a dinner and activities. They probably want professional photography, florist, music, right, like at a minimum. That's kind of like what that type of wedding is Like. The budget range is in Central Oregon for that type of event, which is mostly based on the number. To me to create a planning service that was at a smaller price point so that it could actually be 10%, right, so like is $300, 10% is $400, 10% is $3,000, 10% it's. There's kind of like a range there. And then something I coach couples on all the time is like the triangle of interplay between budget priorities and guest count. So you can have two of those like, unless you're a mega billionaire right.

Speaker 1: 55:06

But if your guest count is the absolute most important thing, then your budget will probably need to go up or your priorities will need to shift, or both, yeah that's good.

Speaker 1: 55:16

If you'd like to be flexible in your priorities and keep the people, keep the budget what it is and make compromises like rad, we know how to do that. Or if you want to compromise on your guest count, you could potentially have a little bit more that hits that purpose that feels true to you as a couple. It's. Every type of wedding is special, whether you're getting married in a campground and you did it, everything DIY and everyone pitched in, or you're getting married at a resort and it's an unforgettable once in a lifetime like three day guest experience. Rager like, I'm here for it.

Speaker 3: 55:56

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 55:57

All ends of the spectrum.

Speaker 3: 55:59

That's fun. I can't wait to do this more. It's going to be fun. Like the, the, the four weddings I've done work so far have been a ton of fun. There's just a fun environment. People are in a good mood, you know, um, there's a celebration and then you get. You sit people down and they get. It's just it's a. It's a fun environment. Have you enjoyed working in for as much as there's a lot of stress? Have you enjoyed kind of overall the wedding industry as a whole? Definitely, yeah.

Speaker 1: 56:32

Yeah, it's, that's why I keep doing it. I mean, it's not like I nerd out on spreadsheets so hard that that's why I'm in it. I could do other work in that using that part of my brain. Yeah, the weddings are so special and, selfishly, it's special to feel like you're a part of something that's that important to someone and I feel like you're going to feel that when you're there and hearing people's stories and seeing the couple, it's like nothing else.

Speaker 1: 57:02

I talk a lot about trying to bring people back to earth and like having reasonable expectations and not saying the word perfect, but at the end of the day, it's like a pretty magical oh yeah time.

Speaker 3: 57:13

Oh yeah, and to be witness to that is cool yeah, yeah, the commitment and the that comes with marriage is it's. It is unique, man. I mean if, if you're a person of integrity and put has considered the vows that you make to another human being, I mean there, there is power in that. Yeah, you know, it's, it's pretty unique.

Speaker 1: 57:36

Yeah. Second, to like being there when a baby is born, seeing two people make those vows to each other is is. There's nothing like it. And, um, it's cool to see how everyone chooses to do it a little bit differently. No, doubt.

Speaker 3: 57:51

What about time of year? What are the trends I mean I'm guessing with, like it seems that there's this trend where we have pretty smoky skies and good part of July and August and into September. Now, I mean, is that come up more than it used to, or what?

Speaker 1: 58:10

Definitely.

Speaker 3: 58:10

Yeah, talk a little bit about that.

Speaker 1: 58:12

Yeah, we're seeing this huge move away from the month of August, and even just in my lifetime like in the Pacific Northwest and I'm sure you've seen it too Like the difference that we have in our summers and wildfires it's hard to wrap my head around that that could be the drastic change that we've seen. So it gets me down sometimes to think about.

Speaker 1: 58:34

But yeah, I think in central Oregon a lot of weddings happen between like May and July and then September through November. Um, people are pushing more and more into the shoulder seasons and finding joy in like winter weddings or like off seasonseason weddings. There's a lot of great like indoor options too, but it's tough competition for those primo like june saturdays where the weather is perfect and you can be outside.

Speaker 3: 59:04

Yeah, what about labor day weekend? That's probably a popular one.

Speaker 1: 59:07

That's a big one. People have time off work. They can come for the whole weekend, yeah.

Speaker 3: 59:12

Do you, do you ever encourage your guests to consider a date that will reflect well for like anniversaries in the future?

Speaker 1: 59:22

Ironically, no, but my wedding anniversary date is, like very important to me and my family, cause it's um the anniversary of my grandparents and my parents, is also my husband and I's wedding anniversary, and we got married on a Tuesday.

Speaker 3: 59:35

That's fun. That's actually really fun. We loved, it Did you guys get married here.

Speaker 1: 59:42

No, we got married in Washington.

Speaker 3: 59:43

In Washington, yeah.

Speaker 1: 59:45

But it's the stuff that I wanted to share, like the thread, because I've done so much thinking about this of like what have I done that, done that? Like now I'm a wedding planner. Like I think for most people that's just such a weird switch up thing and it has never phased me ever. I've just been like oh yeah, this makes so much sense. But I've done a lot of thinking on the why, and I have such a strong positive memory of people coming up to my desk in Yosemite National Park and they're like we're here to have a once in a lifetime experience. We don't know anything about this. Like we're here to do it right. Please like tell us what we need to do to like get the most out of this experience.

Speaker 1: 1:00:26

I loved that about my job because I knew Yosemite like the back of my hand and I was like these people are cool. I'm going to like give them the lowdown, like the insider stuff. And it's the same with wedding planning. It's like people are on this journey. They've never done it before, they don't know what questions to ask. They're there to do it right, they have the time, energy and excitement to like have a once in a lifetime experience and they just need somebody to like give them the map. I feel so fortunate that I got myself into a position of like that self-trust of I'm going to start this business and then someone who didn't even know me like took a chance on me to mentor me and that, like the people in the Central Oregon Wedding Association I was on the board of that for a couple of years ago before I had Casey and just the other ladies, lady bosses in there who helped me find a path that I was excited about. It's a really cool community.

Speaker 3: 1:01:25

You were on the board.

Speaker 1: 1:01:27

Yes, and then I got pregnant and I said I am way too busy for this, but it's full of a bunch of other wedding planners who are like my friends.

Speaker 3: 1:01:36

They're all so cool. Yeah, it's really cool. Music at a wedding is a big part of the, and you had referenced that. It makes up a big part of the celebration, and you again put me in touch with Josie Stevens, who's what does she do, yeah, flip Flop.

Speaker 1: 1:01:51

She's like in charge of their wedding.

Speaker 3: 1:01:53

She's the DJ services manager at Flip Flop Sounds.

Speaker 5: 1:01:56

So the thing that I've experienced with the planners, and Central Oregon especially, is there's just so much good blood.

Speaker 5: 1:02:05

Everybody is really supportive of each other, and I find personally that the relationship with the DJ and the planner is one of the most important ones, because we're there to execute the timeline and to kind of be that front-facing sort of crowd engagement, and we do that on behalf of the couple and the planner.

Speaker 5: 1:02:25

And what I loved about what I initially, when I met Emily, I found her to be and she's one of the planners that I refer to as she'll be your pit bull and not in a sense that there's like any lack of elegance there, but she's one of those women that will. She just takes her job so very to heart and will do anything to make sure that her couples are just as taken care of as they can be. And she does that so elegantly and behind the scenes. You never see it on her face, which I always find to be very impressive, like no matter whatever stressful thing is happening, she's got that look of like I've got this on her face and it makes everybody else feel like we've got this. And so that was my kind of my first impression with her is I just knew that with her captaining the ship that, uh, that things were going to be smooth, and she's continued to prove that to be true. I'm consistently sort of shocked by how lucky we are as DJs to have such a great community of planners.

Speaker 1: 1:03:38

But Emily is just always kind of trying to think of new ways and approaching sort of new elements of this industry to keep it interesting and fleshed out, which I think is incredibly impressive.

Speaker 3: 1:03:43

That's so cool that you talked to Josie yeah she's cool man.

Speaker 1: 1:03:44

She seems like she wears many hats.

Speaker 2: 1:03:45

Yeah, she's a very interesting person, yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:03:48

I love working with her.

Speaker 3: 1:03:49

Yeah, flip Flop Sounds is an awesome DJ company, for sure. Yeah, they. They also have a very strong reputation. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:03:58

I have so much fun in my whole team does with Josie and her team at weddings. It's she taught me to not take myself too seriously, because I always do and I'm, you know, talk about expectations. I'm just, I'm in charge of the most important day of somebody's life. Like, okay, no pressure. But, yeah, she just shows up like to have a blast and make sure everyone there is having a blast too, and it's infectious.

Speaker 3: 1:04:27

Yeah, I got that vibe from her for sure. Trends where couples are more open to kind of DJs getting creative, with like almost more of like a live, like like a real DJ, not just someone hitting a play playlist of music. It's like interactive yeah for sure.

Speaker 1: 1:04:44

Yeah, that's that's the most fun, when couples have their meeting with their DJ and they give them like a general vibe and let the DJ do their thing. That's something that the wedding vendors are always trying to tell couples in the community is like trust us, like if you found us and you believe in us, and like we have this relationship of trust, just like let it play out. And the DJs with flip flop definitely don't disappoint.

Speaker 3: 1:05:11

Yeah, that makes sense. That's being a guest at your own wedding. Yeah, you know, kind of letting it totally unfold.

Speaker 1: 1:05:15

Yeah, that makes sense. That's being a guest at your own wedding. Yeah, you know Kind of letting it Totally Unfold, totally the way that it does.

Speaker 3: 1:05:18

And you know trust right, your trust in the people that you're working with and you know, for as much pressure as you put on yourself. That's the reason why people put so much trust in you is because they know how serious you take it. So everything has a trade-off, right? I?

Speaker 1: 1:05:34

think I have to be at that level of performance and seriousness to be entrusted with the responsibility and then to also coach them. I think I use the word coach with you as like what I do, like that's my job description is just like coaching on what might happen, what you could expect, how you might feel, like something that might come up just from past experience, or it's almost like the scariest and couples have trouble letting go and trusting when there's so many unknowns, just like we all do, right.

Speaker 1: 1:06:07

So, just kind of coaching them on what it might be like it's a leadership role?

Speaker 3: 1:06:11

Definitely For sure. The process and skill set of leadership, you know and what it means and because, quite frankly, I think the world is void right now if I'm not a good leadership.

Speaker 1: 1:06:22

So I'm super interested in that too yeah, I, that's a big in my family too, is like I think both my husband and I have unique jobs where we are leaders in like a day-to-day kind of way and we talk a lot about that.

Speaker 4: 1:06:39

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:06:39

Like even with parenting too, it's you're leading your little household.

Speaker 3: 1:06:45

I mean, yeah, arguably that's the most important leadership role that you have now acquired.

Speaker 1: 1:06:52

I've been promoted Big time.

Speaker 3: 1:06:54

Yeah, yeah, talk about expectations with yourself. You know what. Get back to me on that.

Speaker 1: 1:07:02

Honest to God, this job has taught me so much and like I think I'm not trying to get too corny, but it definitely has given me good perspective on being wound so tight and the expectation piece and like I see so much joy that happens while everything's going to hell in a handbasket. Like it just can be both.

Speaker 3: 1:07:25

It's so true. It is so true, man. We, my wife and I, got married at Broken Top in 2005.

Speaker 3: 1:07:33

Oh, you got married here, yeah, here yeah and like as soon as we both basically said I do, it was one of those july afternoons where there were like thunderstorms forming all day long and it's I mean, it was torrential downpour outside, wow, and it was so fun, like you know. So for like a you know to support what you're saying like for for a someone who's in that role of planner or trying to facilitate the perfect day when you can like no one cared, I mean that everybody will always remember that right and like grandparents soaked, and like the whole wedding, like inside the the lodge reception was just fun, man. Everybody was taking off their wet clothes and dancing.

Speaker 1: 1:08:21

And it's probably all the more memorable oh yeah, Because of it.

Speaker 3: 1:08:24

I have so many photos of like grandparents getting, you know, quickly swept off the golf course and golf carts and yeah, it's just fun. So yeah, to your point not being trying to make everything so perfect, there's doesn't matter.

Speaker 1: 1:08:42

Many times you know it's a hard, it's easy to say that now and it's hard for my couples to get there, especially because of money. I feel like we yeah that's true, we don't talk about money enough period, but I always am like super open with them about what things are going to cost and what things have changed with inflation in the world that we're living in, and and how the money you're spending does not create outcomes.

Speaker 1: 1:09:10

Like does not create. Perfection does not create. It's like. It's a thing to reckon with for a lot of people.

Speaker 3: 1:09:17

What are some of those trends Like what is costing more, I mean?

Speaker 1: 1:09:21

Everything has gone up.

Speaker 3: 1:09:22

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:09:22

Yeah, like flowers in particular. I remember when, just four years ago, the average floral quote was like $2,500, $3,000 for the type of heavier quote average wedding right. Like we can't generalize too much, but that's like what the average amount was spent on flowers, a lot of flowers, like ceremony, reception, your bouquets, it's everything. It's a lot of labor, it's a lot of skill, it's a lot of product. Now it is way more than double that. Like the average floral order is like six thousand dollars. And people are seeing pinterest photos of amazing lush, like installations that are completely out of the realm of reason, like and they it's so funny, like that coach part. Take this example and apply it across. Like everything that happens at a wedding. But couples show us those pictures and they have expectations and they have a vision and then we do a lot of like coaching and a lot of here. Can I show you some other examples? And like let's talk about cost and let's talk about priorities, everything has gone up yeah in a big way.

Speaker 3: 1:10:29

Yeah, and venue. Like fees, are they probably as well yeah, yeah, yeah. Just across the board.

Speaker 1: 1:10:36

I think that they're being competitive.

Speaker 2: 1:10:38

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:10:38

And the Central Oregon wedding market is not more affordable than the big like picture, the destination wedding of Seattle, san Francisco, jackson Hole, like, whatever. Like it is the same. We're competing at the same level, and that's kind of been a big shift in a short period of time for the community too. And so there's something that the Cowab group does really well which I support is like a rise in professionalism too, to like match the expectations of the people coming here to get married. So prompt communication and, like you know, getting back to people's emails, taking them seriously.

Speaker 1: 1:11:17

Like Ben, we have this a little bit on island time, I don't know if you feel like sometimes we're just like big chilling and we're going to go like paddle and we'll like get back to you when we get back to you.

Speaker 3: 1:11:27

That's because that's basically what I've been like my whole life. So, yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about.

Speaker 1: 1:11:32

Yes, people who are spending six figures here from New York don't like that Right.

Speaker 3: 1:11:39

Really no one likes that. Let's be honest, I don't like that. You're like I got a paddle man. There's ways you can fit it in, totally, yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:11:50

I definitely do both work hard, play hard.

Speaker 3: 1:11:58

That's the balance right, but that's one of the. I mean that goes all the way back to like one of the benefits of being self-employed is flexibility with your time.

Speaker 1: 1:12:02

Yeah Right.

Speaker 3: 1:12:02

I mean, I can tell you that firsthand. That's, you know, when you have a more traditional job, especially in healthcare, becomes much harder because your window of opportunity of time that you actually do kind of control outside of your job is drastically smaller. So, yeah, there's, yeah, there's a lot of upside to working for yourself.

Speaker 1: 1:12:23

I feel lucky to do it. And there's the phases of life where I have a newborn and I'm working like 14 hour days to put out a digital course, or their summer weeks where we're working like 60 hour weeks, but then there's so much time when I'm on a Wednesday morning I'm like out in the park with my son or I'm like on a whim.

Speaker 1: 1:12:45

My husband has a weird work schedule too, like we're just weekends don't really matter as much as like the Monday through Friday thing. So the flexibility to just live your life around your work and not have your work control, it is special.

Speaker 3: 1:13:00

Absolutely Anything. We didn't talk about that you want to.

Speaker 1: 1:13:05

I don't think so. Yeah, this has been great.

Speaker 3: 1:13:09

This is fun. I'm excited to work more with you.

Speaker 1: 1:13:12

Yeah, me too. I'm super excited to see Story Booth at weddings this summer.

Speaker 3: 1:13:16

Yeah, I'll show you when we're done recording. I'm going to show you kind of we're working on a fun actual booth so that you're not just at a table but like an enclosed with a more actual kind of podcast experience Like on a trailer.

Speaker 3: 1:13:30

More actual kind of podcast experience Like on a trailer. Eventually, that's always been a dream is I would love to have a trailer that I refurbish into a studio. Nice, that would be great. I'm not. Maybe next summer, after you know, put some of the earnings from this year into that and I think the idea that I have right now might be more popular than a trailer for certain. I mean, every venue is different, right?

Speaker 2: 1:14:05

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 1:14:05

So I'll be excited to hear your opinion on that. Cool Anyways. Well, thank you for taking the time.

Speaker 1: 1:14:11

Thanks Adam. Yeah, this is fun. Thanks for having me.

Speaker 3: 1:14:12

Yeah, good job on your business, thank me. Yeah, good job on your business, thank you.

Speaker 4: 1:14:15

Yeah good job on your leadership Much appreciated.

Speaker 3: 1:14:17

Yeah totally, you're going to do very well. You already are.

Speaker 1: 1:14:20

Thanks.

Speaker 3: 1:14:21

Yeah, guaranteed. All right, dude, See you Bye.

Speaker 2: 1:14:28

Bye. Remember, after work Mama would call in all of us. You could hear us singing for a country mile. Now little brother has done, gone on. I'll rejoin him in a song. I'm going to join the family circle at the plow.

Speaker 3: 1:14:47

Hey, thanks for listening to Ben Magazine's A Circling Podcast. Make sure to visit benmagazinecom and learn about all the outdoor adventures in our area, as well as upcoming featured community events, local artist profiles, our dining guide and more. Remember to enter promo code PODCAST at checkout for your $5 annual subscription. Our theme song was written by Carl Perkins and performed by Aaron Kolbaker and Aaron Zerflu of the Aarons. We love mail, so please send us comments, questions or art to thecirclingpodcast at binmagazinecom. Support the Circling Podcast by becoming a member on Patreon at patreoncom. Forward slash the Circling Podcast and learn how your financial contribution will help support local nonprofits while also supporting local podcasting. Follow us on Instagram at the Circling Podcast to learn more about past, current and upcoming episodes. Please subscribe to the Circling Podcast on all major podcast platforms and leave us a review. It really does help.

Speaker 3: 1:16:00

I'd like to say a special thank you to all of those who participated in the making of this episode, as it wouldn't be the same without your contribution, and I appreciate your trust. If you're looking for a wedding planning team, make sure to visit Emily and her team at ponderosaplanningcom. Also visit centraloregonweddingassociationorg for a full list of wedding vendors in Central Oregon. Don't forget to stay tuned after the show credits for Emily's contribution to the Circling Podcast's community art project and visit markjamnickcom to learn more about subliminal story art embedded with meaning. Lastly, if you know someone who you think would enjoy today's episode, please share it with them today. Hey, thanks for your time. Central Oregon, get outside. We'll see you out there. And remember the health of our community relies on us.

Speaker 2: 1:17:02

You're awesome man yeah it's awesome If you feel like AA, I'll be like.

Speaker 5: 1:17:06

I'm Emily Gilling. I'm the owner of Ponderosa Planning in Bend, oregon. I'm a recovering perfectionist and to me community means community over competition. Boom, perfect Mic drop.

Speaker 3: 1:17:23

See, that was fun right.

Speaker 2: 1:17:25

It was.